In mediation, two divorcing spouses go to a neutral mediator who helps them settle their disputes. The mediator doesn’t make decisions for you, but facilitates you and your spouse’s decision-making process.
Mediation is worth considering because it is economical, private, and it allows you to tailor your settlement based on your own needs and ideas, rather than having a solution imposed by rigid legal principles.
Mediation is not for everyone
That being said, however, mediation is not for every divorcing couple. Mediation can work when the following circumstances exist:
there is a relatively equal balance of power between the spouses
they share some important common values, and
they are both capable of advocating for themselves
For a divorce mediation to be successful, both people need to be willing to negotiate and open to compromise. Even if you and your spouse see some issues very differently, a skilled mediator can help you resolve your issues if you are both committed to the process.
The Process
Usually at the first meeting with the mediator, you and your spouse will each be asked to make a short statement about your situation. Then the mediator will ask some clarifying questions. The mediator will then reflect back what you’ve said, to be sure that both the mediator and your spouse have understood all of your points. The same will go for your spouse.
The next step will be to figure out where you and your spouse agree and where some work is needed to get to agreement. Once you have a sense of what needs to be accomplished, the mediator will suggest how you’re going to accomplish it. You will then need to gather more information, especially if you’re dealing with property issues or child custody. (For example, you can’t discuss a buyout of the house if you don’t know the current market value of it.) The mediator will determine what information you need and ask each of you to commit to bringing certain things for the next session.
When a settlement is reached, the mediator drafts a settlement agreement and advises each spouse to have the agreement reviewed by their own separate attorney before it is signed.
I have worked with Arnold Cribari for over twenty years. Arnold is a true professional–sincere, dedicated, trustworthy and knowledgeable. Arnold works hard for his clients. He also maintains an awareness of the legal fees being incurred so a client is not overwhelmed. I have handled mediated and Collaborative cases with Arnold, and know that we can work together toward an outcome that takes into consideration those issues that are most important to both clients.”– Professional Colleague
