As a divorce attorney – in social situations I am often asked – if I were in need of my own divorce, would I want a collaborative divorce or would I pursue an aggressive divorce?
When I probe the questioner I usually find that the question is based on a mistaken assumption. The assumption is that an aggressive approach will enable you to get and keep “more” of what you want out of the divorce. The truth is – unless your goal is to make your lawyer rich – the aggressive approach is probably not in your best interest.
An aggressive approach in divorce means “litigation.” Litigation necessitates mountains of paperwork requiring hours and hours of “billable hours” of your attorney’s time. Moreover, in litigation, our adversarial legal system tends to aggravate the situation, increasing the amount of time demanded of your lawyer.
The court system looks for the “truth” through allegations, counter-allegations and evidence. This approach becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Conflict is exacerbated, adding more and more hours to your lawyer’s bill – not to mention more stress for you!
If you and your spouse are like most divorcing couples, you don’t need an aggressive attorney to protect your rights. You need an assertive advocate to help you discern what it is you really want and to help you preserve it.
Take a moment to examine my comparison of two divorces – one Collaborative, one Litigated. Both divorces were for high net worth individuals. Which one got more of what he wanted? Find the comparison here: https://westchesterdivorcelawyer.com/cost-of-divorce-for-high-net-worth-individuals
© Arnold D. Cribari, January 2015
