So you and your spouse have decided that your marriage isn’t salvageable. You both are emotionally bruised and angry. Nevertheless, you would like to dissolve the marriage with as little stress as possible, both for yourselves and for your children.
Here are some things to watch out for when choosing a divorce lawyer.
In your first consultation, if the attorney says, “We need to file a summons,” ask why. If the answer is “because this is the way we start a divorce,” stop right there.
Are you in a true emergency situation? Very few circumstances in a divorce are true emergencies. A true emergency includes physical abuse of any kind, psychological abuse of the children (i.e. a parent being cut off from their children); incessant psychological abuse of you (i.e. constant belittling), or financial abuse (i.e. withholding of money for rent, mortgage, food and/or other necessities). If you find yourself in one of those situations, then, yes, a summons is necessary.
If you are not in a true emergency, a summons is not necessary; it is comparable to a doctor doing unnecessary surgery. That attorney is starting you down an unwarranted path of mammoth legal documents and nerve-wracking court proceedings. Find another lawyer.
To minimize strain, anxiety and conflict, a collaborative attorney is your best choice. But finding a good collaborative attorney can be a challenge. We will address that in our next blog post.
© Arnold D. Cribari, 2014
