Divorce Mediation Archives - Westchester Divorce Lawyer

Collaborative Divorce and Mediation: Disagreeing Without Being Disagreeable

Focusing my law practice on collaborative divorce and mediation has inspired me to strengthen my conflict resolution skills, and to apply them to other areas of my life. Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt, a powerful book by Arthur C. Brooks, pulls together philosophical and practical teachings from the world’s great thinkers on the moral imperative for human beings to be able to disagree in a respectful and productive way. The title of the book stems from the Gospel of Matthew 5:44, although there are many other citations in both the Hebrew Scriptures and the New Testament that express similar instructions regarding the treatment of so-called “enemies.” Moreover, other sources that Brooks cites in the book include Aristotle, Plato, Abraham Lincoln, Nelson Mandala, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., motivational speaker Simon Sinek, marriage and relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, and Ivy League professors … Read More...

Affordable New York Divorce: Get a Mediation Friendly Divorce Attorney

Let’s say you have made the wise decision to divorce via mediation. All ethical and professional divorce mediators will encourage each spouse to consult with his/her own separate review attorney, at least before signing off on a final divorce settlement agreement. One of my areas of expertise is serving as a mediation friendly review attorney for a spouse during a New York divorce mediation. Why a “mediation friendly” attorney? It is important for the review attorney to be mediation friendly as well as well-versed in New York divorce law. That is because it’s imperative that the client get good legal advice while still optimizing the chances that the couple make an out of court settlement. If the review attorney is too aggressive, like some New York divorce litigators, the mediation can be torpedoed with the spouses ending up in court at their considerable expense. Typically, this review process begins when … Read More...

The Best Attorney for an Out-of-Court Divorce Settlement

If you are on the threshold of a divorce, and you hope to avoid an expensive ordeal in court, you will want an attorney who concentrates exclusively on mediation and collaborative divorce. Divorce lawyers who are in court a lot are influenced by the arguing and combative language they use in court. Such arguments and contentious language are best avoided when working to achieve an out-of-court settlement. Attorneys trained in mediation and collaborative divorce use communication skills that facilitate coming to an agreement. Lawyers who focus on collaborative divorce and mediation practice active listening skills, and they help the divorcing spouses to identify their needs and interests and those of their children. They make a positive connection with both spouses, demonstrating that they understand what is most important to them in resolving their issues. Attorneys who spend a lot of time in court bring a conflict-oriented mindset to settlement negotiations. … Read More...

Affordable New York Divorce: Part 2

In a prior blog post, I began sharing my thoughts on how to bring about an affordable New York divorce. As stated in the prior post, the first step is to use an out-of-court settlement process. In addition to divorce mediation and collaborative divorce, another out-of-court settlement process for divorcing couples is a kitchen table or “Starbucks divorce.” This means that they simply meet (maybe even in a public place like Starbucks), ideally after consulting with knowledgeable mediation-friendly divorce lawyers. Then, the couple, themselves, respectfully negotiate their own terms for a divorce settlement. After they have agreed on terms, they can go to a divorce lawyer to draft the settlement agreement and uncontested divorce papers. (A kitchen table or Starbucks divorce is rarely mentioned by lawyers because there is a lot less money in it for the lawyer.) Below are other things that I offer divorcing couples to help them … Read More...

Affordable New York Divorce

Believe it or not, it is possible to have an affordable New York divorce, and my mission is to help people that need the services of a divorce lawyer, to obtain such services at a reasonable cost and with limited disruption in their lives. My law practice is organized specifically to help people achieve these goals. This includes low overhead, because I pay no rent – I work from my Yorktown Heights, NY, home office. I pass this savings on to my clients – I have a lower hourly rate than most divorce attorneys. Moreover, I am committed to settling divorces, whenever possible, because divorce litigation can drive up the costs of a New York divorce monumentally. Not every case can be settled, so there is a need for ethical, competent divorce litigators. However, I have chosen at this time in my life, to retire from divorce litigation and focus … Read More...

A Primary Care Divorce Lawyer

Guest blog by Shawn Kennedy Cribari We all know what a primary care physician is. What is a primary care divorce lawyer? I have been married for 44 years to an unusual New York divorce and family law attorney. (I’ll spare you the jokes about him not believing in his own product.) He and I were musing the other day, trying to come up with a label that defines his distinctive philosophy and practice. “You’re the guy people go to when they want to avoid the courtroom, if at all possible. You’re all about preventing unnecessary suffering and expense,” I said. “It’s like going to a doctor who advises against unnecessary surgery.” Hence, the term “primary care divorce lawyer.” Arnold Cribari works in an array of out-of-court divorce settlement processes: • Mediation • Collaborative Divorce • Settlement negotiation via legal action • A hybrid of some or all of the … Read More...

Divorce in the Time of Omicron

The surging Omicron variant of the Coronavirus is causing us to retreat into early pandemic-mode. If you’re a New York State resident considering a divorce at this time, you may have concerns about in-person meetings and court hearings. Mediated divorces and collaborative divorces can be handled safely, contagious variant notwithstanding. Having mastered Zoom in the early stage of the pandemic, I can assure you that it’s possible to conduct negotiations virtually in a New York divorce. Indeed, one positive thing to come out of the pandemic is that – with the now common use of virtual meeting technology — the two spouses and the attorney(s) involved in a divorce settlement process needn’t be in close geographic proximity to negotiate a settlement. Even divorce papers can be executed and signed by a notary using virtual technology. However, for those who prefer in-person meetings, I have a large conference room in my … Read More...

Postnuptial Agreement: Can It Help Save The Marriage?

Are you hurt because your spouse cheated on you? That triggers a divorce for many people. If you have been hurt this way, it is perfectly understandable if you are considering a divorce. Earlier this year a marriage counselor recommended that a woman, living in an affluent suburb of Westchester County, contact me to help her with a Postnuptial Agreement. Although her husband cheated on her, she did not want a legal separation or a divorce. In fact, she was optimistic that her marriage could be saved and that a Postnuptial Agreement could help her accomplish that. What is a Postnuptial Agreement? It is similar to a Prenuptial Agreement except that instead of making it prior to the marriage, it is made after the marriage. Both Agreements are similar in that they commonly provide for the following in the event of a divorce : (a) protect the existing assets and … Read More...

The Most Affordable Divorce

Unbeknownst to many divorcing couples, it is possible to have a one-attorney no-court divorce, which is the most affordable divorce. If done properly, such one-attorney divorces are also fair and reasonable, and enforceable. Kitchen Table Divorce Utilizing a Neutral Mediator A “kitchen table divorce,” or “Starbucks divorce,” happens when a couple negotiates their own settlement terms for divorce (over the kitchen table or at Starbucks) without any attorney involved, and then an attorney is retained to draft the separation agreement or marital settlement agreement. In my opinion, the best way to do such a kitchen table divorce is for the couple, after their private negotiations, to go together and retain a divorce attorney to serve as a neutral mediator, who will then draft the settlement agreement. Each spouse is likely to trust the attorney if they meet and retain the attorney together, and then discuss with the attorney the agreed … Read More...

Divorce Mediation and Saving the Marriage

Within the past year I served as the divorce mediator for a couple in which the wife was broken-hearted. Her husband had cheated on her and she confronted him with her proof: a shareholder certificate showing that the husband jointly owned a co-operative apartment with another woman who was unrelated to him. The husband denied having any romantic relationship with the other woman. His explanation for the shareholder’s certificate, which he had tried to conceal from the wife, was the following: 1. he needed to make more money than he earned at his salaried job in order to pay for college for the couple’s two children and maintain the family’s middle-class lifestyle; 2. the other woman was a real estate broker who showed him the co-operative apartment, they jointly invested in it because it was such a golden opportunity, they never had sex or lived together, and she now lives … Read More...