Westchester Divorce Lawyer – Arnold D. Cribari

Category: Divorce Litigation

Choosing a Divorce Lawyer

So you and your spouse have decided that your marriage isn’t salvageable. You both are emotionally bruised and angry. Nevertheless, you would like to dissolve the marriage with as little stress as possible, both for yourselves and for your children. Here are some things to watch out for when choosing a divorce lawyer. In your first consultation, if the attorney says, “We need to file a summons,” ask why. If the answer is “because this is the way we start a divorce,” stop right there. Are you in a true emergency situation? Very few circumstances in a divorce are true emergencies. A true emergency includes physical abuse of any kind, psychological abuse of the children (i.e. a parent being cut off from their children); incessant psychological abuse of you (i.e. constant belittling), or financial abuse (i.e. withholding of money for rent, mortgage, food and/or other necessities). If you find yourself … Read More...

Saving on the Cost of Divorce

Almost all litigated divorces in Westchester and New York State (i.e. contested divorces through the court system) ultimately get settled, oftentimes “on the courthouse steps.” Unfortunately, in order to get a divorce to the courthouse steps, it takes an enormous amount of time for both lawyers to provide all of the necessary professional services. This results in high legal fees. Since litigated divorces almost always get settled, doesn’t it make sense to focus on settlement at every step in the divorce process to reduce divorce costs? That is exactly what happens in the collaborative divorce process in Westchester and NY. There is only one agenda in a collaborative case: to gather the necessary information and negotiate a settlement that is tailored to the reasonable needs of both spouses and their children. Collaborative is more streamlined, takes substantially less time for the attorneys, and, therefore, is a relatively inexpensive divorce process … Read More...

Collaborating When Litigating a Divorce. An Oxymoron?

Recently, another divorce attorney made a profound comment about the practice of divorce law: “So many litigations settle before trial, I consider my litigated cases to be another opportunity to collaborate. In fact, I see them as another form of collaborative.” What a revolutionary idea! This attorney and I were on opposite sides of a very intensely litigated divorce. Like most divorce cases, it settled before trial. Both of us brought our collaborative skills to the negotiations, and we both had a collaborative attitude. Despite the hotly contested issues in the case, we were able to collaborate to the extent that the divorcing couple, the Judge and the circumstances made it possible do so. We were able to preserve more of the couple’s financial resources than would have been possible if the case had gone to trial, followed by the inevitable appeal. When it is necessary for a divorce litigator … Read More...

Divorce: Why consider Collaborative?

The court system is, by definition, adversarial. The system is set up to pit conflicting parties against each other. Justice is achieved – in theory – because the party with the most persuasive argument “wins.” When it comes to dissolving a marriage, however, this theory of justice is not borne out in experience. A divorcing couple’s “day in court” usually comes at an enormous price, depleting their financial resources and causing emotional damage. The adversarial system intensifies and prolongs conflict. Even in adversarial divorces settled “out of court,” the negotiations involve intimidation and power, again at excessive cost. To be sure – there are some situations (cases involving domestic violence, for example) where court action is necessary. In most divorce cases, though, there are no clear-cut villains and victims. Just hurt, angry people trapped in a system that promotes antagonism and distrust. Mediation is a viable alternative for some couples … Read More...

Co-Parenting and Collaborative Divorce

Co-parenting during the holidays is often fraught with difficulty, even many years after a divorce. For couples who choose to divorce the collaborative way, however, the stress of the “holiday shuffle” is reduced, if not eliminated. The collaborative process allows the divorcing couple to structure a holiday plan for the children tailored to the needs of their specific situation. Because both parents have played an active role in the process – working in partnership with each other and their attorneys – both parents have a sense of ownership of the holiday plan. They are less likely to resist it or try to undermine it each year when the holidays come along. Moreover, some flexibility can be incorporated into the plan when negotiating collaboratively. This points out one of the most important reasons to consider a collaborative divorce. When a couple has had children together, there is going to have to … Read More...

Restraining the Custodial Parent from Relocating the Child to a Distant Domicile

Published in the Domestic Law, May 1988 It’s an emergency! A new client, Mr. Stayput, telephones you in a panic. His former wife, the custodial parent, has threatened to leave the jurisdiction with their child and relocate to a distant state by the end of the month. She plans to marry and become Mrs. Gogo, hereafter referred to by that name. Unless you can restrain Mrs. Gogo from so relocating, Mr. Stayput, at worst, may never see his child again; or, at best, will never see his child as often. Neither option is satisfactory. Everyone involved has a lot at stake. Mr. Stayput wants to prevent the potential irrevocable damage to his relationship with his child. Mrs. Gogo may have at stake her remarriage plans, better employment opportunities in the foreign jurisdiction for herself and/or her fiancé (Mr. Gogo), and more time with the child if she plans to work … Read More...

Divorce Court and the Operating Room

A divorce trial is comparable to an operation in the medical field. Both the divorce trial and the operation are serious, expensive, stressful and extremely risky.

A divorce trial is comparable to an operation in the medical field. Both the divorce trial and the operation are serious, expensive, stressful and extremely risky.

We Have A Dream

This was inspired by, and written in honor of, the “I Have a Dream” speech of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., the great work he did in the civil rights movement in the 1960s, and the great work collaborative divorce professionals do today: We have a dream – that divorce lawyers of all kinds remember at all times the words of the Great Emancipator, President Abraham Lincoln, who wrote the following in a note for a law lecture in 1850: “Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser – in fees, expenses and waste of time. As a peacemaker, the lawyer has a superior opportunity of being a good person. There will still be business enough. Never stir up litigation. A worse person can scarcely be found than one who does this.” We have a … Read More...