Westchester Divorce Lawyer – Arnold D. Cribari

Category: Divorce

Collaborative Divorce: The Advantages

A highly regarded Collaborative Divorce lawyer in California, Pauline Tesler, has written the authoritative book on Collaborative Divorce: Collaborative Law, Achieving Effective Resolution in Divorce Without Litigation. The third edition of that book was published in 2016, and it includes a “Collaborative Divorce Handbook.” This handbook is a must read for anyone considering a collaborative divorce.  The information is relevant to a New York divorce, although Ms. Tesler practices in California. The following is the first blog post in a series about the Collaborative Divorce Handbook. For those considering either a collaborative divorce or a traditional adversarial divorce, Ms. Tesler points out eight advantages of Collaborative Law. 1. In Collaborative Law, all participate in an open, honest exchange of information. There is no “hide the ball.” 2. In Collaborative Law, neither party takes advantage of the miscalculations or mistakes of others, but instead identifies and corrects them. 3. In Collaborative Law, … Read More...

New York Divorce: Questions Raised by the Brangelina Break-up

The most famous divorce in the news is, of course, the Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie split. Needless to say, their divorce isn’t exactly typical. Moreover, Ms. Jolie filed for divorce in California, which has very different statutes and case law from New York divorce laws. This recent article from the New York Times gives some good basic information regarding divorce options for couples residing in New York State. http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/01/your-money/how-rich-couples-who-arent-pitt-and-jolie-manage-their-divorces.html?smid=fb-share&_r=0 The article is a bid misleading in the way it describes team of “neutral” professionals who work on a collaborative divorce. Actually, each spouse in the divorce has their own attorney. But collaborative attorneys are trained in conflict resolution and interest-based negotiation, which is very different from the adversarial negotiation model that most attorneys know. So collaborative represents the best of two models. Collaborative is a form of mediation, which seeks to reduce conflict and facilitate a settlement that works well for … Read More...

Marital Separation

There is much confusion about what it means to have a separation from your spouse. An informal separation simply means that you and your spouse are living apart. There is no legal document or court involved. A legal separation can take two forms: the separation can be according to a binding, written Separation Agreement between you and your spouse, or the separation is in compliance with a judge’s determination that you are legally separated. The latter, called a judicial separation, is very rare. Almost all legal separations are formalized in a binding written Separation Agreement. Except for dissolving the marriage, all issues are resolved, including custody, visitation, spousal support, child support, division of assets, medical insurance, life insurance, and all other financial issues between you and your spouse. There are also provisions in the Separation Agreement that state that you and your spouse have the legal right to live separate … Read More...

Collaborative Divorce: New Ideas are Met with Resistance

Having been a divorce lawyer in Westchester County for almost 40 years, I have been baffled that more divorcing couples don’t choose collaborative divorce. I know about the divorcing process through the court system. It is impossible to overstate the emotional and financial toll that the litigation (court) process takes during a divorce. When presented with a less painful, less expensive, less time-consuming, more private, and more-effective-in-the-long-term alternative, why would anyone choose to litigate their divorce? I think I have stumbled upon the answer. I recently saw online this rejection letter that Einstein received when applying for a doctoral program in physics at the University of Bern. 06 June, 1907 Dear Mr. Einstein, Your application for the Doctorate has not been successful at this time and as such you are not eligible for the position of Associate Professor. While you posed an interesting theory in your article published in “Annalen … Read More...

Divorce in Westchester County: Why Consider Collaborative?

The court system is structured to set conflicting parties in opposition to each other. By definition, this is adversarial. In theory – justice is attained because the side with the most persuasive argument “wins.” In practice, however, when it comes to dissolving a marriage this theory of justice is not borne out in experience. Nobody wins. A divorcing couple’s “day in court” usually comes at an enormous price, depleting their financial resources and causing emotional damage. Moreover, in Westchester County, the backlog of cases is so long, couples can wait months – even years – to get their day in court. This delay further exacerbates the stress on the divorcing spouses. Of course – there are some situations (cases involving domestic violence, for example) where court action is necessary. In most divorce cases, though, there are no clear-cut villains and victims. Just hurt, angry people caught in a system that … Read More...

Mediation and Collaborative Divorce can work for High-Conflict Couples

There is a myth out there that the only way to resolve a high-conflict divorce is to go to court. Actually, mediation and collaborative divorce – in the hands of skilled conflict resolution professionals – can be much better routes for many high-conflict cases. This is especially true for divorces in Westchester County, New York. High-conflict cases usually encompass so many assets and issues – it can be monumentally expensive and time-consuming for the court to resolve every issue. When I say time-consuming, I mean not just months –it can be years! Westchester County, in particular, has a tremendous backlog of divorce cases in the courts. Moreover, the Westchester County divorce courts require attorneys to prepare an elaborate trial notebook, which can cost clients many “billable hours.” The courts are steeped in the adversarial system. In a high-conflict situation, adversarial negotiations function like pouring gasoline on a fire. The non-adversarial … Read More...

Westchester Divorce Advice for High Net-Worth Individuals

High net-worth individuals need to be savvy when looking for a Westchester divorce lawyer. Indeed, all consumers need to be well informed if they are seeking a divorce attorney. That said, high net-worth individuals are especially vulnerable to potential exploitation by attorneys who are eager to generate many “billable hours.” Here are some things to consider when researching and interviewing divorce attorneys. • For most high net worth individuals, collaborative divorce is probably your best option. It is much less expensive than a traditional litigated divorce (divorce through the court system). And since most litigated divorces are settled “on the courthouse steps” so to speak, why not start out with the specific goal of getting a good settlement? • If you are interviewing an attorney who has a reputation as a litigator, what do they say about your options? Do they mention collaborative and mediation as possible alternatives? If not, … Read More...

The Art of Balance in Collaborative Divorce

The flexibility and fluidity of the collaborative divorce process corrects power imbalances in the divorcing couple’s relationship and negotiations. It does this by – • Providing each spouse with the advice and support of a divorce attorney whose sole agenda item is to make a good settlement in which the needs and interests of his/her client, and, ideally, those of the other spouse, are fulfilled. • There is a fluid and flexible spectrum of advocacy in collaborative law. During negotiations the well-trained and experienced collaborative lawyer is fully prepared and knows in advance what is most important to his client. Moreover, the attorney has done his/her best to empower the client so those needs and concerns are articulated during the settlement conference. • If the client, for any reason, does not fully articulate those needs and interests during the four-way meetings (both spouses and their attorneys present), then it is … Read More...

Choose to Divorce with Dignity

Choosing to divorce with dignity through a collaborative divorce is easier said than done. The verb “choose” implies that the person doing the choosing is making a “free” choice. Yet – unless the divorcing person is a robot or from the planet Vulcan – there are likely to be emotional factors that impinge on a divorcing person’s ability to choose freely. When someone has been hurt deeply by the person they once loved, the ability to make a rational decision is clouded by pain, sadness and anger. The word “collaborative” may raise some emotional red flags. The very idea of choosing to embark on a collaborative process with the person who hurt you may feel too vulnerable. Or, the concept may feel unjust. So – to make a decision in your own best interests – it is important to learn something about collaborative before rejecting it out of hand. And … Read More...

Article on Collaborative Law Featured in the Huffington Post

Collaborative divorce seems to be entering the mainstream. A recent blog post in the Huffington Post provides an excellent overview of collaborative law. When reading it, however, keep in mind that every state in the U.S. can be like a different country when it comes to divorce law AND attorney qualifications. New York has no lawyer specialty certifications. A law license in New York authorizes an attorney with no experience or knowledge beyond what it takes to pass the bar exam to practice any specialty he or she chooses. When choosing collaborative divorce lawyer in New York State, one should ask a prospective attorney how many years of experience he/she has practicing collaborative law, how much rigorous training he/she has had in collaborative skills, to what group(s) of collaborative divorce professionals does he/she belong, and what are the training requirements for membership in said group(s). With that caveat in mind, … Read More...