Westchester Divorce Lawyer – Arnold D. Cribari

Category: Affordable divorce

Why do a Prenuptial Agreement: Part 2

Prenuptial agreements typically address issues that would, otherwise, be decided by a judge in divorce court. Agreements can settle one or more of the following subjects: how assets (and debts) will be distributed during the marriage, and/or in the event of a death or a divorce each spouse’s entitlement to maintenance (i.e. alimony), including the amount and period of time of an alimony award each spouse’s right to property (whether owned individually or as a couple) each spouse’s right to buy, lease, sell, transfer or otherwise control property each spouse’s rights and responsibility in a family business each spouse’s right to death benefits from the other’s life insurance policy the state law which governs the agreement, or any other issue the couple agrees upon. Couples have a good deal of freedom in creating prenuptial agreements. There are, however, some issues that a “pre-nup” cannot cover. For example, an agreement cannot … Read More...

Why do a Prenuptial Agreement? Part 1

Many engaged couples use prenuptial agreements. Rather than a sure path to divorce, a prenuptial agreement can help a couple communicate about finances and child-rearing thereby preventing some arguments during the marriage. A prenuptial agreement is a contract between future spouses that settles issues of property and support in the event of death or divorce. In New York, a prenuptial agreement is made before the marriage and will take effect on the date of the marriage. “Prenups” must be in writing and signed by both future spouses and duly acknowledged before a notary public. (An oral prenup or an unsigned agreement won’t be upheld in court.) Who Should Get a Prenuptial Agreement? The rich and famous aren’t the only ones who need prenups. A single parent might want a prenup to protect her child’s inheritance. In some circumstances, a spouse may want to keep a family home or a business … Read More...

Affordable Divorce: Make a Prenuptial Agreement

Do you want to avoid paying a divorce lawyer in the future tens – maybe hundreds – of thousands of dollars? Consider making a prenuptial (before the marriage) or post-nuptial (after the marriage) agreement. The legal fees for such an agreement are a very small fraction of the legal fees that would be generated by a case in divorce court. No one should enter a marriage without making a whole-hearted commitment. Nevertheless, the reality is that almost half of marriages end in divorce. So, say “I do” with a sincere, heartfelt commitment, but – at the same time – be realistic and prepare for the possibility of a divorce. An iron clad prenuptial agreement can resolve all division of property issues as well as alimony/maintenance issues that would arise in the event of a divorce. The only unresolved issues could be child support and other issues related to children born … Read More...

How to Get an Affordable Divorce in Westchester: Part 3

If there is great conflict and/or power imbalances between you and your spouse, keeping your divorce affordable will be a challenge. The most affordable divorce processes, mediation and “kitchen table” divorces are not for you. It also may mean that collaborative divorce is not an option. But it still may be possible to keep costs within reason. You  may be tempted to look for the meanest, most aggressive courtroom lawyer (litigator) you can find. But, if affordability is an issue, do you want someone who will add exponentially to the “billable hours” you will have to pay for? It may be counter-intuitive, but consider hiring an experienced litigator who also has considerable training and experience in mediation and collaborative divorce. Why?  Because such a litigator has more skills in his/her negotiating toolbox, than the old school divorce “bomber.”  Old school divorce negotiation tactics usually exacerbate conflict, leading to months of … Read More...

How to Get an Affordable Divorce in Westchester: Part 2

As discussed in our prior blog post, the most affordable ways to divorce in Westchester County, NY, are the “kitchen table” divorce and mediation. Nevertheless, even if there are many points of disagreement and/or a power imbalance between you and your spouse, your divorce doesn’t have to break the bank. Collaborative divorce is another affordable option. A collaborative divorce can be a very good choice for couples in which there are some power imbalances in their relationship. Maybe one spouse has a stronger will than the other, is more articulate than the other, and/or has more money and information than the other spouse. Collaborative divorce also tends to be a better choice than mediation for complex divorce cases involving millions of dollars of assets and seven figure incomes. When considering what divorce process to choose, you might want to compare the divorce court to the operating room in medicine. Such … Read More...

How to Get an Affordable Divorce in Westchester: Part 1

Getting an affordable divorce in Westchester County, NY, is entirely possible. The first thing to do is to ask yourself these questions before getting started: Is this a simple divorce, with no complicated financial issues and no children? If not, do my spouse and I agree on the major issues involving the children, support, and division of property? Is there an equal balance of power between my spouse and me, meaning can both of us assert our needs without fear? Are we both willing to exchange important financial information? If you answered “Yes” to any of the above questions, you may be a candidate for a “kitchen table divorce,” or for mediation. A kitchen table divorce (also known as a “Starbucks divorce,”) means divorcing spouses reach an agreement between themselves on all major issues including child custody/visitation, support, and division of property. Then, one spouse hires an attorney to prepare … Read More...

The Neutral Financial Specialist in Collaborative Divorce

A collaborative divorce can include a neutral collaborative financial specialist to help the divorcing couple and their attorneys. This financial specialist gathers and organizes relevant financial information and presents it in an understandable and unbiased manner. The financial specialist also explains tax consequences of the options that are discussed. Moreover, this expert can make valuable contributions to the brainstorming of options and solutions for settlement. The verse below summarizes the role of the neutral collaborative financial specialist: Financial experts are also brought into the collaborative case, Values, taxes, the bottom line, the numbers they embrace, These numbers wizards calculate, then what is their advice: “Get your needs met in a settlement, at trial you roll the dice.” © Arnold D. Cribari 2015

Divorce Coaches in Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce is interdisciplinary: lawyers, mental health professionals and financial experts work together. Divorce coaches are mental health professionals that are often included on the collaborative team. Instead of providing in-depth therapy, they enhance communication and help resolve disputes by using their active listening skills. Their skills help reduce conflict and stress. The verse below explains the role of divorce coaches in collaborative divorces: To help us all communicate, coaches are brought in Coaches also help us handle emotional whirlwinds They are the best of peacemakers who give this wise advice: Get your needs met in a settlement At trial you roll the dice. © Arnold D. Cribari 2015

Choosing a Divorce Attorney: Why Hire a Settlement Professional?

You probably have more experience dealing with doctors than with divorce lawyers. You may find this analogy helpful. If you had a heart problem, you wouldn’t go to an orthopedist. If your goal is a good divorce settlement, then, why would you go to a trial lawyer? It makes more sense to choose an attorney with skills, training and experience in getting good settlements. In our medical analogy, a divorce trial is comparable to surgery. Surgery is risky, stressful and expensive. You don’t undergo surgery unless it’s absolutely necessary. A collaborative divorce is comparable to the medical approach to a problem. When dealing with an illness, usually the least risky treatment is recommended. Going to court is risky. Over my 30-plus-year care as a divorce lawyer, I have told countless clients, “Get your needs met in a settlement. At trial you roll the dice.” When confronted with a divorce, think … Read More...

Divorce via Mediation or Collaborative Practice: A Gift to Yourself

A priceless benefit that a divorcing couple can give to their children – and to themselves – is a mediated or collaborative divorce. Having just spent a delightful Father’s Day with my family, I was moved by an essay I read in TIME magazine by Susanna Schrobsdorff: “Happy Father’s Day to my ex-husband (really).” Eight years after her divorce, Schrobsdorff shares the hard-earned wisdom that “the kids need both of you. If you are lucky, you will be sitting next to this person [your ex-spouse] at graduations, weddings, baby showers and, yes, funerals for the rest of your lives. There is no divorce from the kinds of celebrations and crisis situations that require both of you to show up for your children and each other.” Divorce is painful and difficult, but it doesn’t have to be toxic. No matter how hurt and angry you are, you don’t have to let … Read More...