After practicing matrimonial law for almost 45 years, I’ve come to the following realization: a good divorce aftermath is priceless, and an interdisciplinary collaborative divorce is the best way to obtain such an aftermath. Why is that? If a divorcing couple has children, guess who will be at their children’s future graduations, confirmations, bar mitzvas, weddings, the birth of the divorcing couple’s grandchildren, and the grandchildren’s graduations, confirmations, bar mitzvas and weddings? The answer – which many unenlightened spouses and divorce lawyers lose sight of – is obvious. If you are considering a divorce, please keep in mind that your future former spouse is the other parent of your children and will continue to be an important part of their lives – and, consequently, your life. Why is an interdisciplinary collaborative divorce the best way to achieve this priceless aftermath? First, collaborative divorce professionals have undergone intensive collaborative and mediation … Read More...

Let’s say you are the primary breadwinner in your family and are confronted with both a divorce and the loss of a job.  This is not uncommon during the Coronavirus crisis. The good news is there are steps you can take to protect yourself legally, and avoid the nightmare scenario. What is the nightmare scenario?  When the Judge in your divorce case imputes an  income to you substantially higher than what  you are currently earning for purposes of determining maintenance (alimony) and child support.  This happens when the Judge believes that a spouse is attempting to avoid his/her support obligations, or otherwise has a higher earning ability than the amount of actual income. What can you do to avoid this nightmare scenario? First, don’t quit if you still have a job.  You are much better off if, in a Judge’s eyes, you are laid off or furloughed so the job … Read More...

In the wake of the moving funeral service of Congressman John Lewis and the inspiring eulogy delivered by President Obama, it occurred to me that the concept of passive resistance can apply in a collaborative divorce. Then, it occurred to me that an ideal mindset to have in a collaborative divorce when confronted with a spouse who is persistently unreasonable is: “Respectable Non-Violent Assertiveness and Resistance.” Respectfulness:  A commitment, required by the Collaborative Code of Conduct and Participation Agreement. Non-Violence:  A necessity, in our actions and our words to feel safe physically and emotionally, for the collaborative divorce process to work. Assertiveness: The collaborative process works best when each party asserts, to the maximum extent, his/her needs and interests in a respectful manner.  Assertiveness is comparable to peaceful protest, speaking out and not shying away from “good trouble” as Representative John Lewis would say. Resistance:  My approximately 20 years of … Read More...

Creativity is King for professional practices in today’s virtual world. For the legal profession, including divorce and family law attorneys and mediators, out of court settlement is essentially the only game in town, unless the client has what the New York courts consider to be an emergency. Most divorce cases that do not involve serious domestic violence are not considered to be emergencies. Out of court settlements include collaborative divorces, divorce mediations, and kitchen table divorces, in which the couple negotiates their own deal and a lawyer drafts the settlement agreement. Once the agreement is drafted and fine-tuned, either by teleconference (Zoom), email or telephone, then the final agreement can be notarized remotely. In New York State at this time, remote notarization via teleconference is legal. And, remote processes like remote notarization enable important things, like the signing of binding legal documents, to get done. Negotiations via Zoom are rapidly … Read More...

The Law and Mediation Practice of Arnold D. Cribari can help you resolve domestic relations and family law disputes during these difficult times, throughout New York State. This challenging coronavirus crisis is an opportunity for each of us to be creative, adapt to the circumstances, and do our work in different ways in order to move forward, resolve problems, and avoid spreading the virus. Divorcing couples with my assistance can remotely resolve their issues in the comfort of their homes. We have video-conferencing services available through the use of Zoom. By utilizing technologically advanced methods to work with people remotely, I can help people throughout the State of New York resolve their divorce and family law disputes. For those who are unfamiliar with teleconferencing technology, we can help you become at ease with it very quickly. This can be a productive time for divorcing couples to resolve their issues while … Read More...

The Coronavirus is impacting all aspects of life, including divorces in New York State. Why is that? On March 13th and 15th, 2020, the New York State Unified Court System issued Memoranda (explained below) rightfully minimizing court appearances and suspending trials in civil cases – including divorces – in order to keep the Coronavirus from spreading. As a result, this is an ideal time to make an out of court divorce settlement. This can be accomplished as follows: 1. Divorce mediation, in which the only participants are the divorcing couple and a neutral divorce mediator (three people). 2. Collaborative divorce, in which the only participants are often limited to the divorcing couple and each spouse’s collaborative divorce lawyer (four people). Divorce mediators and collaborative divorce lawyers have training and experience that can optimize your chances of obtaining a fair and reasonable divorce settlement. And, at the same time, by attending … Read More...

Many of my blogs and other writings on the subject of divorce recommend refraining from filing the divorce in Court and, instead, utilizing divorce mediation or the collaborative divorce process to negotiate an out of court divorce settlement.  This is because absent extraordinary circumstances necessitating early Court intervention, negotiating a settlement without going to Court can save the couple tons of money and minimize conflict and stress. The following case study provides a good example of when it is advisable to file the divorce in Court right away. One spouse is making substantial withdrawals from bank/investment accounts, borrowing substantial sums of money and/or spending money excessively for non-marital purposes.  Such a non-marital purpose could be spending money on a paramour. If you happen to be married to such a spouse, you can protect yourself financially and prevent marital assets from being depleted by having your divorce attorney file a Summons … Read More...

Sometimes, even the most ethical New York divorce lawyer is confronted with a case, the circumstances of which are such that there is no good option for the client, except to litigate.   This occurs when the other spouse is lying, unwilling to disclose their assets or income, and/or is guilty of domestic violence of serious abuse. Mediation or a collaborative divorce are generally not viable options under such circumstances.   The “discovery process” can be challenging in a litigated divorce.   What is discovery? Discovery in a New York litigated divorce is basically a pre-trial process in which each party’s counsel, in compliance with Article 31 of the CPLR (New York State’s procedural rules of law in civil cases), can obtain financial documents from the other party using discovery mechanisms (provided by law) such as interrogatories, requests for production of documents, requests for admissions and also depositions. Many times, … Read More...